Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Seattle Weather Complain-O-Meter

The weather in Seattle is not like weather in the rest of the country. It is true that it does not rain here every day. A rumor that we keep alive to keep you all from moving to the west side of the state and driving up our home prices and clogging our streets (because we are equally incapable of creating a public transit and bicycle infrastructure but that is another post). It is very gray most of the year, which drives our depression induced drug dependency up for sure. Over all though our weather can be summed up with one word, "Mild." It's never too cold, too wet, too hot, too gray or too of anything. And that is where the problem is.

When weather goes beyond the "mild" category Seattlites complain... a lot.

This winter it was freaking cold for months and I thought my fellow Seattle residents were going to drink a big vat of frozen slushy kool-aid and slip off to the big sleep it was so oppressive. Then the rain came back and the gray came. We were happy again (except for this with seasonal depression of course, but at least they were not cold). Then we had a remarkable stretch of weather without rain. A rare occurrence in Seattle. We found a way to complain about that too. "My grass is dying," "My plants are dry" "Air quality sucks" "My allergies are being exacerbated," etc, etc.

All this leads to this week. Seattle is experiencing hot weather. We are in the 90's. Everyone is hot, hot, hot. Our houses won't cool down, parts of our bodies that shouldn't sweat are sweating. I've watered myself more than the lawn recently and I am just spanky clean as I take 3 showers a day. Jack's room was like 90 degrees last night when he went to bed and it only cooled to 77 degrees, but was back to 80 before we left the house.

The reason that Seattle does not do well with extreme weather, especially heat, is that the city is not set up for it. Very few homes in Seattle have AC, or pools, or shade for that matter. The electric company must be freaking out right now as each house is running 3-5 fans to stay cool 24/7. This is Lavi's complaint. Sure it is hot in Panama, but they have AC and you won't catch a Panamanian moving fast in the heat in order to stay cool.

All this ranting (yes I'm one of those Seattlites that doesn't enjoy extreme temperature or weather) leads to explaining the Seattle Complain-O-Meter.

When ever some one from Seattle complains about the weather, if you live outside of the western part of the state you can add/subtract about 10 degrees from what was stated to fully understand how we feel. Another test that people outside Seattle can use is to know that Seattlites are only happy when weather is between 65-75 degrees. Above below we'll find a way to complain and let you know.

Example, if I were to tell my cousin Katie "It is so hot in Seattle I'm dying. It's like 92 degrees here!" She would then add 10 degrees to know that 92 degrees to me is like 102 degrees to her. Then she could say "that is hot Jeff. I hope you find a way to stay cool" while thinking (Wimp, I go to Cornhusker games when it is 110 in the Stadium and yell at the top of my lungs for 4 hours).

So I guess all I can say is that it is hot. I'm sticky. I'm tired. I want a strong rain cloud to come sit on my city for a few days then go back to being 75.

Stay cool,
Jeff

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