Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Jens Voight

I have a few cycling heroes. Lance obviously we all know and love. George Hincapie shares much respect and I've already posted about my man-crush on Chris Horner. I have other favorites that I've rooted for over the years Fabian Cancellera, Thor Hushovd, Eric Zabel, Christian Vandevelde to name a few.

But among them all one individual separates himself from the others, Jens Voight. He is one of the best cycling advocates out there. Also addressing safety issues in the press. But more importantly he lets his legs do the talking in the races. He is one of those riders that is strong for the team and can win in a break away. Seems every grand tour features a text book Jens Voight break away win. Love that.

In this year's Tour he had a very bad spill yesterday. Video links are below. They made me wince so let that be your warning. The good news is that he only suffered a broken cheekbone and a bruised (very) chest and a lot of facial road rash.

This just proves how tough Jens is. Just like Chuck Norris, here are some little known Jen’s facts.
  • Jens rides a bike with two wheels at the Tour de France only because his unicycle has been banned.
  • When Jens is on a break away, the podium girls swoon because to podium kiss Jens is magical.
  • Carbon Fiber is manufacturer from the strength purities gained from Jens Voights sweat.
  • When Jens bridges the gap he actually builds a bridge for the peloton to ride on.
  • When Jens crashed in stage 16 he made the mountain cry.
  • When Jens has the leaders in his sight the peloton has to increase speed.
  • Jens quads are considered a national treasure in Germany.
  • Jens made Vin Dissel cry by flexing his left calf.
  • Jens did not lose consciousness, God just had some questions to ask.
  • When Jens is in the breakaway, the referee car can draft behind him, which makes the tour "green."
  • Jens rides a bit heavier to be fair to skinny climbing freaks as mandated by the UCI
  • Jens' cheek bone only broke because they had just re-paved the road with adamantium
  • When Jens “stomps on the pedals” Chuck Norris’ fists fly out of them.
  • When Jens is not predicted to win a stage where a break away would succeed, he pities the fool.
  • Jens once split an atom while riding in the big ring. The atom's parts were found in Luxemburg and were called Schlecks by those that discovered them.
  • Jens' older brother is Old Man Devillier
  • Lance has one testicle. It’s on loan from Jens.

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