You may know that my Mother has a little secret. On St. Patty’s Day she allows the use of her most secret power. No Jason, this is not the 7 letter 50 point Scrabble smack down that makes you feel like you have the vocabulary of a 2 year old. No Mark this is not the power to see through your fibs and make you clean your room under your most profuse protest. No Jeff it is not the power to make you actually feel ashamed for being an immodest brat. No Megan this is not the power to define words on command.
While all those secret powers are cool, they cannot fight crime. No I’m talking about a very special power that my Mother has. One so powerful that she only lets it out once a year. Yes, I’m talking about Mary aka the LIMERICKSTER!
She hurls out five-line poems with the first, second and fifth having nine syllables and rhyming with one another, and the third and fourth having five or six and rhyming separately with ease. Heck I think she might be the only person I know who can tell you what anapaestic meter is, but will then argue that she is using amphibrachic as the original author intended. What a purist.
Here’s a great example of her off the hook mad Limericking skills. I expect her to be out late tonight schooling street kids on her mad prose, Word Mom!
Jack is a grandchild who's blessed
With Irish genes - they are the best
Or so people say
At least on this day
I don't know about all of the rest.
At her office every year they have a Limerick contest. One that I think she has one every year. Inviting her to participate is like inviting Larry Bird to play H-O-R-S-E with you. It is just no contest. Because of that they are not holding a Limerick contest this year. I believe this to be travesty and unfair. If I was not so ashamed of being so proud of my Limericking Mother I’d be out protesting.
Happy St. Patty’s Day!