0.45, 2, 3.5, 2, 4.5, 6, 6, 6.5…
Those are the hours of sleep that I’ve gotten each night since Jack was born. Do not make the mistake that these are consecutive hours by any means. They are at best 2 hours in length, especially for Lavinia. I’ve been able to sneak away for 3 hours in a row a few times. I remember when a “Nap” was a luxury item and not something I used to describe 2 hours of essential sleep, but that’s the way of life now. Mark posted how much he likes sleep. I can think of almost nothing better at this point. Vacations will no longer be about going to the beach of seeing a beautiful city in Europe but more about finding a way to have Grandparents feed and watch Jack while Mom & Dad sleep in. Ahhhhh good times for sure.
We’ve had a few moments that we can attribute to the lack of sleep. One night about 4am we both woke up when Jack started fussing, letting us know that Mom should kindly open the buffet line for him, when we both started speaking to each other. Now what was interesting was that neither one of us used any coherent language. Lavinia was speaking to me from dream she was having and addressing me as her Mother and I was just down right babbling in some garbled language. The funny thing was that we each answered the questions we meant to ask and went about getting Jack ready to feed. It was only after he was latched on and we were sitting quietly in his room that we both looked at each other and said “what were you saying?”
The first night in the hospital I got a total of 45 minutes of sleep and that was not in a row, but 2 blocks of time. Jack was a bit fussy his first night out of the womb, and who could blame him. I was nervous only because I just didn’t have a point of reference for what to do, but not Lavi. Even after the c-section and the efforts to make breastfeeding work and the fact that she had had no sleep, she was there to just be a wonderful calming presence. She helped me understand what Jack’s little cries were for, what to do, how to relax. She was amazing. I knew she would be a great mom, an all-star even. But going out the first night like that was like watching a rookie hit 4 home runs his first time up to bat or a French cyclist actually win something.
After that Lavinia sent me home each day for a 2.5 hour nap. I was reluctant because I wanted to help out as best I could, but she insisted and God Bless her for it. It was hard to sleep in the hospital. The nurses would check on us just as we were about to drift off and Jack was testing out various schedules of when to eat so we were up most nights. I still have no idea how Lavi made it through. I think she got a total of 6 hours of sleep for 3 days.
Since we’ve been home sleep comes when it can, but we both decided we need to do better at this. At some point (10/22) I have to go back to work and I need to find a schedule that will let me not fall asleep at my desk. Since I have a standing desk that I work at falling asleep really could hurt me. At first Jack was not gaining weight and we threw ourselves into his feeding schedule. The good news was that he turned around and gained 5 ounces in 2 days, but the bad news was that we got a little less sleep because we were feeding all day. It is still hard to sleep during the day too for us, but we are adjusting.
Now, when Jack sleeps there is something cute. He has a few different stages of sleep. One is that light sleep where his own bodily sounds (okay farting) will wake him up. Other times the sound of his mother’s voice makes him stir. Then there are times of deep sleep where dropping a frying pan in his crib with an opera singer wouldn’t wake him. I especially like seeing his tiny hands moving around like a kung-fu fighter as he rests. At some point his hands will be up over his head and he’ll drift off and his arms will fall back like dead weights. I think his favorite place to sleep is laid out on his mother’s chest. We call this Kangarooing because you can zip Lavi’s nighty over him and make a pouch to hold him in. There have been a few fussy times when this came in handy. For now Jack is still nocturnal, makes sense when you think about it; during the day when Mom was moving he would sleep in the womb, but at night when Mom went to sleep he’d wake up. The first few nights he was very awake and cluster feed a lot. The last two nights have been better, long feeds with more rest between. Maybe he’s trying to help us out we’ll see.
Despite the lack of sleep, which was as expected as the sun rising so don’t think we are surprised, things are going very well for us at home. Jack continues to be a wonderful baby. Lavinia is breastfeeding and that effort is going well for us all. Of course it means that Lavinia can only sleep at best 2 hours at a time. I’m still trying to figure out how she is managing, but I suspect she has super mommy powers by this point. I can’t wait for my daddy powers to come in but I think I have to wait until he’s older. I still think I might as well start shopping for my spandex outfit now though, something in blue and red to honor Spider-man most likely, but I digress, where was I? Ah yes… sleep.
Sleep my friend you have been taken from me. I find myself longing for your return, like a lady waiting for her man to return from the enemy front, fearful that you may never return. But I must say that if Jack is the gift I have to which you have departed to make so, then I bid you farewell for I am happy and may the memory of your sweet embrace be all I need. – That was my corny way of saying that in the end sleep doesn’t matter that much because Jack is such a little gift. I would sleep less if I had to just to have him around.
Okay, long enough for now. Everyone is well and the three of us are going to get some sleep.